Dealing with Failure in Life


Even though this seems awkward to many people and no one will ever wish to experience failure, failure remains the most vital step to take in reaching success. However, experiencing failure can be very detrimental and can crush your soul. Since failure is inevitable, it is important to learn how deal with failure in life so that at the end you will always come out with a positive result after passing through difficult times.


The most famous definition of failure is the lack of success. The real definition of failure, however, is individually based. Some little things can be a failure, and these mistakes whether big or small give us the feeling that we have failed.

It is the human nature to see only more noticeable things and mistakes as the failure. We often recall the sad moments we have disappointed others and most importantly disappoint ourselves. The most traumatizing moments in life is when you put in all your best, your money, time and energy and even go to the extent of sacrificing your joys and comfort to achieving a goal but in the end, it turns out to be a disaster. Failure can be demoralizing and makes you lose confidence in yourself. Let's take for instance Bruno, a University graduate of four years who has no job and finally after struggling from hand to mouth managed to raise some money to start up a business of his own and has dedicated his whole time, energy and resources to make everything successful. After executing his plans, everything about his business failed. How do you think Bruno will feel? Well, such type of failure can leave a mark, but it doesn’t have to. You might experience something similar to Bruno’s case.


The bad news is that you will feel depressed and unhappy; the good news is that you too can overcome it! I know that you surely want to overcome failure; below are practical steps to overcoming failure:

1. Feel What You Need to Feel

When you experience failure, you can be very depressed and become moody, and it's natural. In as much as it is natural to feel depressed and sad when you experience failure, the most significant thing is to dust off that failure and get ready for things ahead in life. Don’t keep your emotions bottled in you because if you do, it can lead to an emotional outburst which will backfire on you and make you pour out your anger, affecting your mental state and your relationship with others as well. Bottling up emotions can also lead to creeping negativity, making you feel inferior and always afraid to try out new things.

How then do you release your emotions and free yourself?

i. One of the things to do is to set some time aside to be intentionally angry, frustrated and weep; this is important for you to get out of it. Depending on the failure you encounter, the time you set aside can be small or big. If it is a little failure or mistake on your part that builds emotion inside you, an hour is ok to cry and pace around a pillow. If the failure situation you are experiencing is bigger than expected then it is advisable to give yourself full 24hrs to cry it off then you start the next day with a clean and free mind. Nevertheless, the amount of time you choose to get over your emotion should be one you choose, and you should stick with it.

ii. Another thing you can do is to express your feelings to someone in words. When you express yourself, you feel better than bottling things up. In most circumstances the person you talk to about your problems will try and comfort you, thus making you feel relieved. Even if they don’t, expressing how you feel alone relieves you of the emotions you feel.

iii. You shouldn’t let it become part of you. Because you still haven't found the right way to do something doesn’t make you a failure. Don’t let your failure define you, rather you should take proper actions to move past failure and achieve success.

Experiencing failure can leave an open wound for you, and you shouldn’t ignore it. Do well do fix the emotional problem caused by failure or it will continue hurting you and possibly block your way to success.

2. Look at the Failure of Others

One mistake you’ll ever make is thinking that you are the only one that has experienced failure in the whole world. Sometimes we take a look at the success of other people and assume they don’t have problems and difficulties, not realizing that the rich also cry. The difference here is that some people are good at hiding their failure, making you think they are free from worries, but the truth is that you are not the only one experiencing this failure. So don’t just look down on yourself and trust me, if you take a good look around, you’ll see that there are people whose situation are far worse than yours.

Are you looking up to Bill Gates as your success mentor? Is it Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook that you are looking up at? No matter the person you are looking up to, take a look at their failures. If the successful men of all time start narrating to you the failures they have to go through and experience just to be successful, then you will know that yours is just a little case compared to theirs. They have experienced denial, humiliation, betrayal and many things no one will ever want to happen to them. Read about their lives, and you will learn that successful people know how important it is to accept failure. So put yourself together and see your failure as an opportunity to do more.

3. Change Your Definition of Failure

Yes, since I started this article, I have always emphasized on failure as inevitable. It may seem hard to think about it in that direction, but try to change your definition of failure as this can help you cope. Experiencing failure gives you the opportunity to learn and grow, which is vital for progress.

Here is a list of facts that can assist you defining failure correctly:

#1: Failure is an indispensable part of the way to success and self-realization.

#2: Whenever you step outside the convenience zone, and when you try something new, failure becomes imminent.

#3: Each defeat brings you one step nearer to attaining your goals.

#4: Failure is an excellent teacher, and it enables you to learn some of the most helpful life lessons.

#4: Each failure makes you tougher, greater and better.

#6: Making errors is not a big deal as long as you learn from them and desist replicating them.

#7: Failure teaches you that an individual approach may not be ideal for a particular situation and that there are better approaches to overcome troubles.

#8: Wealthy people will never shout at you or judge you when you lose since they have previously been there, and they know of the valuable lessons you can acquire from failure.

#9: No matter how frequently you fail, you are not a loser as long as you don't give up.

#10: Each time you lose, your fear of failure grows meagerer, which allows you to take on even bigger challenges.

Every mistake you encounter is an avenue for you to learn. When you must have finished weeping or moved past your emotions, don’t forget to reflect on your mistake with a new point of view. Examine the actions you took that messed things up, and equally, take a look at the ones that turned out right. In doing this, think of what you can do to make things better next time.

4. Start the Next Plan to Fill Your Mind

It is critical moving on to the next thing once you have finished grieving over your failure. Occupy your mind with thoughts about the next task you have so that you don’t allow negativity to ball in.

Start your next project immediate and stay focused on it. Nothing takes your mind off worries and regrets like hard work. You might want some time away from work; a hobby will do. There must be something you enjoy and are good at which will keep your mind busy and occupied. The advice I am trying to give here is for you to switch focus and give yourself enough time to recall that there is still hope even after experiencing failure.

Remember, life is a struggle. Every successful person you dream about was once an amateur. The faster you learn to get comfortable with practicing things of life and making mistakes, the faster you'll be in learning and becoming the master of your art. Although you won’t be 100% sure things will work out for you, you can always be 100% sure that if you fold your hands and sit there doing nothing, things won't work out for you. So don't give up! No matter the failure you experience, go out and try again. Two things will happen: it is either you succeed or learn a vital lesson, which means a win-win situation for you.

Remember, never give up on what you do. Why? This is because it is normal to experience failure in life, but that’s not the real failure; The real failure is when you give up entirely on what you are trying to achieve.

Although failure is inevitable, it is not something that has to define who you are. The truth is that failure is good for you. There is a saying that goes thus: ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. Use the positive side of failure and turn it into a stepping-stone and a tool that will prepare you for your journey and get you where you are heading.

It is natural to feel defeated when you experience failure, but remember that losing the battle never means losing the war.

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