What is Failure and How to Overcome it
One of the biggest struggle of people in general is our need to have success. One way or another, not achieving that success equals with failure.
And although success and failure are relative terms, we tend to be our most dreadful judgers and live with the constant stress of “what if I fail?”. And by doing this is like inviting failure in our lives because we give it such great importance and focus.
It’s true what they say, that you attract the things you focus upon, and the law of attraction will eventually give you that which you concentrate on.
As with anything else, fearing about failing at something or in life in general is an auto-sabotage we do to ourselves and in this way we prevent our lives to unfold in the most extraordinary ways possible and living that success we wish we had.
But let’s start from the very beginning. What is failure and what makes us so stressed up about it?
First things first:
What is Failure?
In most cases, failure is one simple thing: not living up to YOUR expectations. So what is it then? Is it about having too high expectations? Maybe we should trim the expectations down a little or make them more realistic so we don’t ever experience failure and that sense that we’ve failed? Could this be the answer?
But wait a minute. Should we not have dreams, desires and expectations about our lives to unfold in certain ways? Should we not wish and want? Of course we should, this is a natural human condition for evolution and progress.
OK, but what if we could take this fear of failure out of the question and attain the success that we want without unnecessary stress and too much trouble? Well, this is another thing.
The famous published author Brian Tracy defined the fear of failure as the “single barrier between us and success” and we always use this “I can’t” phrase to express this kind of fear. I can’t do this, I can’t do that… and we pretty much destroy our own success because we fear so much about not being able to do it, hence failing at life.
Which leads me to ask myself: Is it something in the way we understand or define failure that makes us so fearful, so stressed up and in the end unsuccessful? From my life experience, the answer is YES.
Could Failure Be a Good Thing?
Well, viewed from one particular perspective, yes. Let’s me explain.
Imagine you are alone on this island where the weather is good, there’s plenty of food but you got pretty lonely and want to get to that other island some miles away where there are lots of people.
So your wish is to somehow manage to get to the other island, but you don’t have a boat and the island is too far for you to swim to it. Let’s make it even harder: you don’t know how to swim. Now the challenge is to start building that boat that will take you there, yes?
And now it’s when you’ll start to fail. Why? Because you don’t know how to build a boat, you’ve never built one before and there’s this sense of fear that makes you restless and quite worried that you might not make it.
There’s a lot of unexpected that’s going to unfold that, in the end, will allow you to discover what you need to discover to become that individual that will be able to succeed.
In this case, build a boat and safely make it to the other island.
So, the failing attempts are but the part of the path and not stops. They want to give you this experience, this knowledge that will make you the person who’s will KNOW how to get to where they need.
The idea is that failure is not bad, failure is just the big learning curve that will give you the lessons you need to learn in order to become that person that you want to be, where you want to be.
Did you know that most famous and highly successful people have failed badly so many times before making it big?
They’ve been rejected, they’ve been told you’re not good at it, you’re not talented enough or even you’ll never make it.
Take Oprah Winfrey for example. She was told that she’s “too emotionally invested in her stories” when she applied for her first job as an anchor in Baltimore.
Did you know that Thomas Edison's teachers told him he was "too stupid to learn anything."? Yeah, Tomas Edison, guys.
Fred Astaire was told by an executive while taking his first screen tests “Can't sing. Can't act. Slightly balding. Can dance a little” and J.K. Rowling is famous for being harshly rejected 12 times for the “Harry Potter” series by most publishing houses and at the same time being one of the best seller authors in the world.
So, what did these people do to have success eventually?
They persevered so much at failing, until ultimately they became the exact right people they needed to become to be ready for the success they’ve wanted.
You see, it’s not failure that makes us fail per se, but the attitude that makes you not use failure in a positive way.
No Failure = No Success
Failure is nothing but that big learning curve that will help you learn how to become the successful you. It’s pretty much impossible that you don’t fail because if you don’t fail you cannot learn how to succeed.
Whenever things don’t go as expected so you experience a failing attempt, the best you can do is ask yourself: “Well, that went in unexpected direction, what can I learn from this?”.
With this attitude, nothing will ever feel like a failure because you know that each experience and each and every circumstance is here to assist you in becoming the person you want to be where you want to be.
Give yourself a break from all that negative self-talk! Just think about it! If other people made it, it is POSSIBLE! If nobody’s done it before you’ll be the first people to show to the world that this is possible.
Realize and accept the fact that you CAN do and can accomplish anything you put your mind to, because you’re a valuable person! YOU deserve to live the life you’ve always dreamed of and whenever you fail, understand that this is just a message that there’s something you need to learn in order to become that version of yourself who is successful.
How to overcome failure? By embracing it, by allowing it to teach you valuable lessons, by having the right attitude about it and by knowing is there to eventually make successful!